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Family break-ups

Updated: Dec 13, 2017

I was on BBC Radio Scotland recently, contributing on the Kaye Adams Show, discussing siblings who don't talk. It is a very long and painful story however, I briefly spoke about it here in my Edinburgh Evening News Article. It was something I wasn't expecting to talk about on National Radio, however, I believe sharing is good for the soul, and I'm a sharer. If I kept everything in that whirls around in my head, then I'd go insane!


The saying "You can choose your friends but you cant choose your family", doesn't make it any easier if you have an estranged sibling, but for me, talking about it does. Asking people what they think, or how they would deal with it helps me digest and accept the fact that I'm sister-less. I'm aware I'm not the only one with a sibling issue however, each is unique and comes with its different challenges. There is no right, or wrong, just a gap where a relationship used to be. However, gaps can be filled and that is what I've done. Filled that big empty gap with relationships that benefit me. Is it the right decision? I don't think I had much choice, but here is no point trying to get someone to be in your life, who has made it abundantly clear that they can't bring themselves to speak to you, for whatever reason.


How we fell out was all a bit messy and turbulent, and didn't make much sense, but I guess these things happen and for the sake of my son, I need to be strong and move on. I'm not quite sure how I get around this one, the "Oh by the way you have an Aunt that you know nothing about." Actually, how the hell do I deal with that? And, when? Do I even need to go there? Wold there be any benefit telling my son about my dysfunctional family situation? He's already aware that my mum is not of sane mind. That's a story for a different day, I need at least 5,000 words for me to introduce you to her.


Back to my ex-sister, and I received a lot of messages thanking me for being honest about my situation after being on BBC Radio Scotland and publishing my article in the Edinburgh Evening News. Talking about not having the perfect family, and being honest, seemed to have helped some of my followers. How nice it is to get something positive out of a difficult life situation. I felt better, mainly because it made other people fell better. So just remember that no family is perfect (despite what John Lewis want you to think at Christmas time) and for me, the most important thing is to not pitch or compare families with others that on the outside, seem perfect. That's bad news because nobody is perfect, and no family is either. Enjoy what you have and enjoy those who are closest to you, and kindest to you.


I'll get to my family story one day however, in the meantime I'll just leave it here for the moment.


Hayley X



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